Social etiquettes in child

written on Jan 31 '10



I believe that a child learns best & most from what they see their parents do...
 If you do not want your child to do certain things, first reflect if you have ever done the same infront of him/her or he/she has picked up from elsewhere..

Im unable to socialise much given my situation right now, and for the same reason I feel Krish is lacking few social behaviourial skills when we visit someone.

Recently at a friends place Krish walked into the bedroom - the door was wide open and the way through the drawing room where we were sitting...


I didnt find a reason to chide him, as there were no signs for him to stop! I usually would close the door of the rooms when a child is expected at home ...

But I could clearly see the unpleasant look in the face of the host...

If your child did the same in someones house / some child did it in your house, how would you react?

This comes to me query - what is the "expected" & "accepted" behaviour of a child.

Assuming, it's acceptable for kids to explore in a space...

its was ok for Krish to have walked into the room considering the age(he was 3+ yrs). At 5 yrs probably people would say, what an ill-manered child ...

He never enters the room if its bolted or shut. In that house the drawing room led to the bed-room & all other rooms. That was our first visit. Im not sure if I would like to vist there again, after the reaction I saw there. 
See what has motherhood done to me, I can't enjoy somewhere the child is not accepted well!

I can't remember having a peaceful dinner/lunch with Krish around in any restaurant. Its been 4 yrs now.. hah........

Moreover, Ive not met many people who are very child friendly. They frown and restaurants simply ask you to leave if the child moves around. People go out to eat to have a "quiet" time, they say - & I too agree.

Infact if you hear some "sound" anywhere you will know they are INDIANS or soem bunch of young kids and the eyebrows raising all around. They find it ill-manered to raise decibles and talk or even laugh!

We have infact started packing our food nowadays when Im not cooking....

In another instance, I saw a child of 4yrs sitting at a place for more than 2 hrs using the fork-kinfe to eat spaghetti all by himself - too good to be true, I was wonderign. The mother of the child was proudly moving around saying my child is the most well-behaved around. He never gave me any trouble blah blah and the conversation changed to "praise my child" pheww.... Most kids here are expected to behave this way and they do behave themselves whether they like it or not.


I actually found it extremely "odd" or not true to nature. There were children of his age who were playing in the house with toys and his mom giving "looks" at my child seeing him not sitting at a place, and frowning and then pitying that I'm having a tough time managing him.

She mentioned - "Stop giving him sugar, biscuits, snack etc etc etc...." the list was endless!


I didn't find it strange for a child to get attracted to new toys. Moving around the play area, and playing!
So, now comes my worry, if its perfectly normal for your child to pick up his toys and play what reason shall I give my child from doing so, other than that not being his toy. Unfair!! tough! In another year he will step into 5th year and I'm trying to be more strict and find it so tough.

Now, he refuses to even greet a person if I ask him to: saying "hello", "good morning" "namaste" - no I dont want to - is the response.
 
I can't be such a horror to my child !!!